MomsByte.com

Just one year ago today my life was very different. I lived alone in a little house with my dog, Nikon. I was pregnant though, and knew my life was about to drastically change. However on this night, one year ago, I went to bed alone (sorta).

I remember this day vividly. It started off with me driving to work very, very tired. As with most nights, I didn’t sleep very well. My sweet Eva had been kicking me all night, and I had bad leg cramps. But off to work I went, my co-workers had planned a baby shower for me, and I was really looking forward to it.

Right off, I got into a fight with a friend/co-worker. Of course I was quite hormonal at the time, and probably picked the fight. I was a royal pain the ass! I feel quite sorry for my fellow co-workers and am grateful that they didn’t all completely shun me. Anyway, I remember being quite stressed that day. I had to leave a little early because I was getting my hair cut after work. So I was trying to get everything done before I left.

I also had a lot of stuff on my mind, you know, being pregnant and all. Thoughts of packing for the hospital, a list of to-dos, etc. had been going through my mind. Anyway, I ran out the door that afternoon feeling bad for leaving my desk a mess because I had planned to work from home the next day. And I was still a bit upset over the fight I had had earlier. But nonetheless, I had a hair appointment I had to get to! I would clean my desk, and mend my friendship later.

As I drove home that night from my getting my hair cut, I remember being so so sleepy. I told myself that I would go to bed as soon as I got home. Of course, that didn’t actually happen. I let the dog out, made myself something to eat, then got online. I was trying to finish up my to-do list, and was feeling chatty.

When I finally went to bed, I remember laying there thinking about what all I had to do the coming weekend. For the most part I was ready for Eva, but I have a few last minute details to finish up. But no worries, I had the weekend to do that. Luckily I also had been thinking about what to pack for the hospital (of course it would have come in even handier had I actually PACKED the suitcase). And I remembered thinking, wow only a month to go. I bet this little girl comes earlier than that though.

The next morning, I awoke to a very strange feeling and quickly realized my water had broke. Eva was here. My life had changed for the better. Happy Birthday my sweet Eva! Thank you for making my life more enjoyable. I love you!

1 Comment | In: All about MOM, Jennita | | Author Archives: Jennita

I just spent some time in my home town with two of my sisters (Jean and Belinda) and my parents. It was a nice visit with everyone, but driving back home I started to wonder… How can my family’s personalities be SOOOO different? I have 4 siblings and we are all very different. We were raised by the same two parents so shouldn’t we have some similarities. Granted there’s an 18 year difference between my oldest sisters (twins) and me (I’m the youngest), but I don’t think that plays a huge role in it. Now it’s true that we have the same basic principles that my parents instilled in us such as being good, honest, nice people, blah, blah, blah….. But honestly, I don’t know that we’d be friends if we weren’t related. I have so little in common with some of my siblings.

For example, my parents are both Republicans. This was an especially bad time to go home. Poor planning on my part. I really don’t like to discuss politics with my family because most of them have Republican views. Republican views I can handle, ultra conservative views I can’t. I don’t like debates or confrontations at all. My sister Jean on the other hand likes to “talk politics” to my mom and get her fired up. My mom is a devout Rush Limbaugh fan (makes me puke). So whatever his views are on a topic so are my moms. Which then gets Jean and my mom into a political debate. And that’s usually my cue to leave the room.

Then driving home, I saw a group of motorcyclists driving down the road. When I saw them the first thing that popped into my mind was a stereotype of motorcyclists. Tattos, missing teeth, dirty, beer drinking, etc…. but then I thought what a minute if I think that about those guys, then I have to think it about my brother. He owns not one but TWO Harleys. He just went on a week long bike ride from Arizona to Montana. My brother doesn’t have a tattoo, has all his teeth, showers daily (at least I think he does) and doesn’t spend all his time at biker bars. So I quickly had to think maybe the guys I saw on the road aren’t all that bad. But that got me thinking again, why does Roger (my brother) enjoy riding motorcycles? Is it a guy thing, maybe partly. But this is the same guy who sends me all sorts of political emails bashing Obama. Roger is not a huge McCain fan, but is a republican. Living in Arizona, he’s wasn’t a McCain supporter early on, but now he has to be because he’s a republican. In fact when he called while I was home he asked me what I thought of Palin. All I could say (remember I’m the one who doesn’t like to debate) was “She certainly took the spotlight away from Obama and the DNC in a hurry.” That was my nice noncommittal answer. But I did say they are going to have to stop showing her shooting a gun to get women votes. At least in my opinion. But I digress….

So this brings me to my own two kids. What will their personalities be like when they are all grown? Will they be close and talk often or will they be like my sister Denise and I who maybe talk twice a year on birthdays? Will one of them try to get me fired up on a topic we don’t see eye to eye on, or will we just avoid that topic of conversation. Will they be devout church goers like my mom and sister Belinda???? Only time will tell.

3 Comments | In: All about MOM, All about the kids, MotherT, Politics | tags: family, Politics, sisters. | Author Archives: MotherT

When you have so many things going on in one day, how do you stay focused? And by focus, I mean how do you keep from losing control of everything, when you’re so busy? And how do you make sure you don’t lose yourself in the whole process? It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind that is daily life that you forget to actually live and enjoy it.

What about being mentally focused? This is definitely something I struggle with. I lead such a busy life (as most people I know do…) that I find it difficult to stay on track. I’m constantly thinking about everything I need to get done at work, everything I need to do with and for Eva, all the things I want to do for myself, and worrying about money and time constraints. The list really could go on and on, but I won’t bore you with the nitty gritty.

When I lay down at night, my brain seems to kick into overdrive. I start thinking about how I need to find a better brand of diapers, because the ones we use now leak. I remember that I need to take my leased car to the dealership for a tune up. I realize that I forgot to call my grandmother back. I remember the fact that I have to give a presentation tomorrow and I haven’t prepared for it at all because I’ve been “focused” on other things. Then there’s the biggest question of all… If I myself can’t stay focused and keep my mind clear, how do I show/teach Eva?

Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don’t worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind. Thinking comes and goes, comes and goes, You must not be attached to the coming or the going.
—Zen Master Seung Sahn

So what’s my plan? Well I’m working on it. I know that I need to let go of the things I can’t change, and focus on the things that matter. I added the quote above because I really think that Zen Buddhism makes a lot of sense. Although I may never find Enlightenment, I would sure be happy to quiet my brain down a bit and get rid of some of the clutter. I’m reading a few books that are helping me (or should I say that I am using to help myself) to let go of the past, and not fret about the future. The moment is now. I might as well live it to the fullest.

This is really the only way that I can see myself being a good mom. If I myself can learn to live in the moment and be happy with life NOW as opposed to the way it was, or the way it could be… then I’m setting my daughter up to be one stable, happy woman.

How do you keep focused?

6 Comments | In: All about MOM, Jennita | tags: clear mind, focus, mom, thinking, zen buddhism. | Author Archives: Jennita

Now that I’ve been a pseudo-mom to two kids this week (see post) it brings me to another topic…how many more? I feel so happy and content with my two kiddos. I have an arm for each. Many people, including my dear hubby, ask, “But don’t you want a GIRL!” With my first pregnancy I was certain I was carrying a boy. Voila! I was right! The second time I was convinced I was having a girl. And? Out popped the most gorgeous of boys! Haha I’ve never felt that I needed one of each. I was just plain thrilled to have two gorgeous healthy kids. So do I need a third? I change my mind every other day. All three of my boys (that would be the two kids and one husband) agree we need one more.

Playgroup - Kieran (10 months) is second from left

Some people don’t enjoy the baby stage. I even loved being pregnant—but I won’t go there cause I’m afraid of hate-mail. I’m lucky to love everything about babies including their smell, the cuddles and even the night-time feedings. It’s such a special time. I get broody when I see other babes. But I have also seen how much of my attention was used up by having four. It’s hard to spread yourself around and I don’t want to deprive my two boys of their mom time, not to mention time for the hubby too. So do I want more? I know I should be taking into consideration many factors like financially are we able? is it feasible with having to travel so much? Really, my decision will come from my heart. Many folks have told me “you’ll just know”. But it’s been five years since I was last pregnant and I still don’t know!

9 Comments | In: All about MOM, Moyamuhle | tags: kids, mom. | Author Archives: Moyamuhle

I recently had the luxury of going on a vacation with my husband, but without my kids. Our very own time-out. It was a much needed break. My sister spent the week with the kids while we went to Jamaica. It was great. A much needed time to recharge. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and love being a mom, but for me to be a good mom, I need my own time too. Not to mention that my husband and I needed some time just to ourselves so we could “reconnect”. With a move coming up and living the past six months in limbo of not knowing exactly when we will be moving, our relationship has become a little strained. I’m the type of person who PLANS everything. So this state of “not knowing” has been killing me. But now we are back from our vacation and back to reality. So we continue to clean and touch up the house so it’s ready to go on the market when my husband gets his final job offer.

3 Comments | In: All about MOM, MotherT | | Author Archives: MotherT

As I said in my bio—I’m a great lover of blogs, but this is actually my first proper blog post! I’ve done nothing more than comment on others so I would have to say it is time for me to “put it all out there” and let others have their say about mine! Why not just jump right in. I’m sure you guys will all be kind and gentle with a newbie like me. Right? Here goes:

We’ve had two additions to our household this afternoon. I’ve gone from two children to four children…in the blink of an eye! A friend of ours is in Mozambique with her hubby—and I, being the very *best* of people, offered to have her kids. So far, everything is going really smoothly! Did I mention it has only been 45 minutes? In those 45 minutes one of the children has 1. Declared himself BORED 2. Asked where all the toys are (I pointed in the direction of the playroom where you can’t see the floor for all the toys!) and 3. Tells me his mum let’s him eat chocolate spread on bread everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Should be a great week! Let’s get started.

My plan this week is to be organized. I’m sure organization is the secret to having more than 2 kids. I have every intention of getting their school lunches ready the night before, picking out the clothes for the morning ahead of time and having two simultaneous baths (luckily our house has two tubs!). For those of you reading this who already have more than two kids, you can stop laughing now. Where’s the love?! I realize I’m gonna have to learn along the way. Just hope the learning curve isn’t too steep…I don’t have that much time! Wish me luck.

You know, I would classify myself as a good Mom…maybe even a great mom. But a great mom to two kids. I’ve been asked, grilled and even begged by my family, friends and husband to have a third child. I think this little experiment might aid me in my decision. (But that is for another post!)

Cheersxx

2 Comments | In: All about MOM, Moyamuhle | tags: friends, mom, play dates. | Author Archives: Moyamuhle

Baby with remote

We come in all shapes and sizes, come from many different backgrounds, and take various life paths. But the one thing we will always have in common… is that we’re moms! And although our lives our busy and we don’t even live in the same cities (or continents for that matter!), technology keeps us together.

Technology simply is a way of life these days. For the most part, I’m quite thankful for it. First of all, I’m a software developer, so I make a living from technology. My blackberry is pretty much attached to my hip, and I can be reached via phone, email, IM, text, Twitter and Facebook all from the one device, at any time of the day! And when I was pregnant I got weekly updates on how my baby was growing/forming from babycenter.com. Since one of my best friends (Moyamuhle) currently lives in South Africa, and another (MotherT) is about to move to Washington D.C., I need to keep up-to-date with any and all forms of communication.

I have noticed though that we are definitely raising a little techie girl. When my daughter gets fussy and is in need of a distraction, the best form is usually a TV remote or cell phone. She also quite enjoys banging on the laptop as well. She absolutely loves buttons! She even called her father the other day, AND got him on speaker phone (mmm hmm 10 months old). Of course as soon as he answered she proceeded to taste the phone. Somehow she thinks cell phones and remotes are tasty… who knows? Maybe they taste like chicken! Ahh and my sweet little girl already has her own ipod, filled with various types of children’s music. I wonder… are we setting her up to be technologically advanced, or are we setting ourselves up to always have to buy her the newest gadgets? eek…

No Comments | In: All about MOM, Jennita | tags: blackberry, facebook, mom, technology, twitter. | Author Archives: Jennita