I remember this day vividly. It started off with me driving to work very, very tired. As with most nights, I didn’t sleep very well. My sweet Eva had been kicking me all night, and I had bad leg cramps. But off to work I went, my co-workers had planned a baby shower for me, and I was really looking forward to it.

Right off, I got into a fight with a friend/co-worker. Of course I was quite hormonal at the time, and probably picked the fight. I was a royal pain the ass! I feel quite sorry for my fellow co-workers and am grateful that they didn’t all completely shun me. Anyway, I remember being quite stressed that day. I had to leave a little early because I was getting my hair cut after work. So I was trying to get everything done before I left.

I also had a lot of stuff on my mind, you know, being pregnant and all. Thoughts of packing for the hospital, a list of to-dos, etc. had been going through my mind. Anyway, I ran out the door that afternoon feeling bad for leaving my desk a mess because I had planned to work from home the next day. And I was still a bit upset over the fight I had had earlier. But nonetheless, I had a hair appointment I had to get to! I would clean my desk, and mend my friendship later.

As I drove home that night from my getting my hair cut, I remember being so so sleepy. I told myself that I would go to bed as soon as I got home. Of course, that didn’t actually happen. I let the dog out, made myself something to eat, then got online. I was trying to finish up my to-do list, and was feeling chatty.

When I finally went to bed, I remember laying there thinking about what all I had to do the coming weekend. For the most part I was ready for Eva, but I have a few last minute details to finish up. But no worries, I had the weekend to do that. Luckily I also had been thinking about what to pack for the hospital (of course it would have come in even handier had I actually PACKED the suitcase). And I remembered thinking, wow only a month to go. I bet this little girl comes earlier than that though.

The next morning, I awoke to a very strange feeling and quickly realized my water had broke. Eva was here. My life had changed for the better. Happy Birthday my sweet Eva! Thank you for making my life more enjoyable. I love you!

The morning of the speech we left early because we knew there were going to be 70,000 people attending and we wanted to stay out of lines as much as possible (yea right). I went with two of my cousins (one happens to be my baby sitter as well) and Eva’s daddy. The only lines we really had to wait in was while we waited for the gates to open. We were so early that security was quick and when we got into the stadium it was empty! (Even though it was empty, I still managed to literally run right into the 9 News team). We had a great time roaming the stadium and checking out all the shwag. We figured that we already looked silly enough wearing our bright yellow-orange T-shirts that we might as well get every button, sticker, hat, etc. that we could find. I think I did pretty good, and had plenty of “flare”!

As the day wore on, the stadium really started to fill up. It was exciting to see all the smiles on people’s faces. I heard rumors of people waiting in line for 4 hours to get in, but I didn’t hear one person complain (of course I waited a total of 30 minutes!). The vibe of the entire stadium was of pure excitement. I noticed that people were chatting with their neighbors as if they were long, lost friends. It was amazing to see the entire crowd rooting for the same team. Normally, at a football game, most of the fans are for one team or the other. And when your team is losing, the crowd gets crazy… yelling, drunkenness, rudeness, etc. Not here. Not now! There was a buzz in the air. People were laughing, smiling, dancing, clapping, cheering and helping one another. For example, at one point in the day we came back to our seats with our arms full of food. The guy behind us reached forward and pulled our seats down so we could sit. I guarantee that wouldn’t happen at a Bronco’s game!

Favorite shirt of the day: “Burritos for Obama” from Qdoba

Favorite sign of the day: “Obamalicious Bar-B-Que Sandwiches”

Throughout the day, there were bands playing, and speakers talking about why they were voting for Barack Obama. It was fun to see Stevie Wonder, Al Gore, and all the real people who came out to speak. I got goosebumps many times during the day for different reasons. It was just such a feeling of excitement. And not like the excitement you get before you go to a concert, or before you get a book signed by an incredible woman (yay Hillary!). It was different. It was the feeling that all the crap that we’ve been dealing with for 8 very long years is about to come to an end.

Obama didn’t come on stage until around 8pm that night, but hanging out with family and being a part of that amazing crowd for over 8 hours was worth it! It was a night that I will never forget and I’m grateful to have had the chance to attend such a historic event.

I have been trying to write this post for almost 2 weeks now. Every time I sit down at the computer to try to put my experience into words, I come up blank! The other day I realized that the reason this has been so difficult to write is that I have wanted to keep the experience to myself. It was such an amazing day, that I didn’t really want to share it with the rest of the world. The entire day moved me. But I realized it was time to open myself up.

Also, this is post is about my experience that day. I didn’t want to give a play by play of the day, plenty of other bloggers and reporters have already covered that.

For example, my parents are both Republicans. This was an especially bad time to go home. Poor planning on my part. I really don’t like to discuss politics with my family because most of them have Republican views. Republican views I can handle, ultra conservative views I can’t. I don’t like debates or confrontations at all. My sister Jean on the other hand likes to “talk politics” to my mom and get her fired up. My mom is a devout Rush Limbaugh fan (makes me puke). So whatever his views are on a topic so are my moms. Which then gets Jean and my mom into a political debate. And that’s usually my cue to leave the room.

Then driving home, I saw a group of motorcyclists driving down the road. When I saw them the first thing that popped into my mind was a stereotype of motorcyclists. Tattos, missing teeth, dirty, beer drinking, etc…. but then I thought what a minute if I think that about those guys, then I have to think it about my brother. He owns not one but TWO Harleys. He just went on a week long bike ride from Arizona to Montana. My brother doesn’t have a tattoo, has all his teeth, showers daily (at least I think he does) and doesn’t spend all his time at biker bars. So I quickly had to think maybe the guys I saw on the road aren’t all that bad. But that got me thinking again, why does Roger (my brother) enjoy riding motorcycles? Is it a guy thing, maybe partly. But this is the same guy who sends me all sorts of political emails bashing Obama. Roger is not a huge McCain fan, but is a republican. Living in Arizona, he’s wasn’t a McCain supporter early on, but now he has to be because he’s a republican. In fact when he called while I was home he asked me what I thought of Palin. All I could say (remember I’m the one who doesn’t like to debate) was “She certainly took the spotlight away from Obama and the DNC in a hurry.” That was my nice noncommittal answer. But I did say they are going to have to stop showing her shooting a gun to get women votes. At least in my opinion. But I digress….

So this brings me to my own two kids. What will their personalities be like when they are all grown? Will they be close and talk often or will they be like my sister Denise and I who maybe talk twice a year on birthdays? Will one of them try to get me fired up on a topic we don’t see eye to eye on, or will we just avoid that topic of conversation. Will they be devout church goers like my mom and sister Belinda???? Only time will tell.

Hey dude! Nice fur-goat!

Now, this might seem a common question if you regularly pass by a farm or a field where you see the the odd grazer. But we were driving through the buzzing metropolis of Mtubatuba. (Okay, slight exaggeration. Mtuba has one stop sign and one petrol (gas) station and its claim to fame is that Brad Pitt visited for an AIDS project as it has one of the highest infection rates in the world… but I digress) When Cole was worried about the missing goats it was because there are normally a dozen or so goats standing around tied to trees ready to be purchased for the latest celebration of lobola (marriage dowry), wedding or even to slaughter for a funeral. But today there were no goats to be bought and Cole –our animal lover- was distraught!

It's a goatieback, not a piggyback!

I decided it might not be a good idea to stroll down the street to look at the local market where the sangomas (witch doctors) go to buy their ingredients to make their muti (traditional medicine) in case we find remnants of the goats in question. You will, however, find ingredients such as animal livers, monkey tails, hair from a baboon, etc. for your latest soup to make your secret crush fall in love with you.

It’s experiences like these when I wonder, how will my boys adjust to living back in the States again? I’ve had to learn the different vocab for simple kid games like catch. Instead of “You’re it!” you say, “You’re on!” and “You can’t (pronounced caahhhn’t) tag me, I’m in DEN” den=base. I’ve almost forgotten that it isn’t common to have kids shout out, “Mum! The monkeys are in our kitchen again!”

Monkey in our backyard

And children running around the shopping centers, libraries and schools without shoes is expected. Last time we were in the States my eldest warned his American friend not to go too close to the lake because there are hippos and crocodiles! I didn’t have the heart to tell him the only thing in there is a pretty little rainbow trout or maybe a couple of bullfrogs!

It’s not just their experiences…it’s their accents. It now sounds normal when they tell me, “Mum, you mustn’t rush to drop us at school-jaaa, we will be there just now. Not to worry” or “Mum, don’t forget my tackies in my gym kit, hey!” not to forget “I only like marmite saarmies with cheese, not bovril!”

Though they were both born in the USA, it seems I’m raising two true South Africans.

Howzaaaaat BOOEEETIE!

Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, & the Truth about Reality is a great book about Zen Buddhism written in a way that “normal” people can relate to. The author, Brad Warner, does a great job of speaking at my level. Now, I’m an educated woman but when it comes to Buddhism I’m a newbie. And I appreciate his approach. The book was easy to read and every chapter seemed to hit me with a punch in the gut… “read that sentence again! remember what it’s saying!”

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61) is one that Oprah has recommended to the world. Seriously… she had online course and many many shows on the topic. This one was not as easy of a read as Hardcore Zen but it is quite engaging. I also found a number of “aha!” moments in this book.

Next books on my list (which I’ve already purchased yay):

• The Tao of Pooh - classic!
• American Nerd: The Story of My Peoplee - hehe this was a gift, telling isn’t it?
• Sit Down and Shut Up: Punk Rock Commentaries on Buddha, God, Truth, Sex, Death, and Dogen’s Treasury of the Right Dharma Eye - The sequel to Hardcore Zen
• This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession

Do you have any good books you recommend? Have you read the ones listed here?

Tonight I worked for about 4 hours making signs for the convention at the United Food and Commercial Workers Union. Initially I did it because I was told that if I helped make signs I would get a ticket to see Barack’s acceptance speech next week (Woot!!). When I first got there, I wasn’t prepared for the amount of people who were busily working. Staple… staple… staple! Chatter… chatter… chatter! There was an actual buzz in the room. Everyone seemed to have a job, and they were quite happy doing it.

I jumped right into the humming of the room and got to work. My job: fill trash bags with 25 signs each, then tie the bag, and finally add a yellow sticker to either side. Done. Then start all over again! At first I was a bit shy because it seemed that everyone else already had their place… their role in the system. I’m not very good at being a newbie, I like to be a part of it and become an expert! Luckily the task at hand wasn’t too daunting ;). In no time I was moving around the room, gathering up signs and trying my best to not lose count.

I imagine that everyone was there for different reasons. Some were volunteering because they wanted to be a part of something great. Others were there because the Union was paying $10/hour (they also provided food… well Taco Bell if you call that food). Many were talking about all the different things going on this weekend and upcoming week. And there were at least 3-4 different languages being spoken!

As I moved on to my next job of stapling two posters together (one side said “Obama” the other read “Unity”), I realized that I was a part of something greater. My simple task of staple, staple, staple, flip(!) was going to mean something to the 70,000 people who will be attending the acceptance speech as well as the thousands watching on TV. These very simple signs, mean Hope and Change for many Americans.

Those two words kept ringing in my ears as I worked away. I started to wonder what the world will be like when Eva is 5 years old… how about 15… what about 35? There’s no doubt that the world will have changed by then, but will this time right now, right here, actually make a change for the positive? Can Barack Obama be the change that I am hoping for? Will his presidency impact Eva’s future? Or am I hoping for too much?

Following are a couple of my favorite YouTube! Videos:

Barack Obama - Reggaeton Style

Flobots - Rise

The Flobots are a local band that has recently hit the national and even international scene. I love the message in this song. It makes me want to get up off my butt and do something!

Take a press tour of Invesco Field at Mile High where Obama will accept the Democratic nomination for the Presidency.

What about being mentally focused? This is definitely something I struggle with. I lead such a busy life (as most people I know do…) that I find it difficult to stay on track. I’m constantly thinking about everything I need to get done at work, everything I need to do with and for Eva, all the things I want to do for myself, and worrying about money and time constraints. The list really could go on and on, but I won’t bore you with the nitty gritty.

When I lay down at night, my brain seems to kick into overdrive. I start thinking about how I need to find a better brand of diapers, because the ones we use now leak. I remember that I need to take my leased car to the dealership for a tune up. I realize that I forgot to call my grandmother back. I remember the fact that I have to give a presentation tomorrow and I haven’t prepared for it at all because I’ve been “focused” on other things. Then there’s the biggest question of all… If I myself can’t stay focused and keep my mind clear, how do I show/teach Eva?

Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don’t worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind. Thinking comes and goes, comes and goes, You must not be attached to the coming or the going.
—Zen Master Seung Sahn

So what’s my plan? Well I’m working on it. I know that I need to let go of the things I can’t change, and focus on the things that matter. I added the quote above because I really think that Zen Buddhism makes a lot of sense. Although I may never find Enlightenment, I would sure be happy to quiet my brain down a bit and get rid of some of the clutter. I’m reading a few books that are helping me (or should I say that I am using to help myself) to let go of the past, and not fret about the future. The moment is now. I might as well live it to the fullest.

This is really the only way that I can see myself being a good mom. If I myself can learn to live in the moment and be happy with life NOW as opposed to the way it was, or the way it could be… then I’m setting my daughter up to be one stable, happy woman.

How do you keep focused?

Playgroup - Kieran (10 months) is second from left

Some people don’t enjoy the baby stage. I even loved being pregnant—but I won’t go there cause I’m afraid of hate-mail. I’m lucky to love everything about babies including their smell, the cuddles and even the night-time feedings. It’s such a special time. I get broody when I see other babes. But I have also seen how much of my attention was used up by having four. It’s hard to spread yourself around and I don’t want to deprive my two boys of their mom time, not to mention time for the hubby too. So do I want more? I know I should be taking into consideration many factors like financially are we able? is it feasible with having to travel so much? Really, my decision will come from my heart. Many folks have told me “you’ll just know”. But it’s been five years since I was last pregnant and I still don’t know!

I recently had the luxury of going on a vacation with my husband, but without my kids. Our very own time-out. It was a much needed break. My sister spent the week with the kids while we went to Jamaica. It was great. A much needed time to recharge. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and love being a mom, but for me to be a good mom, I need my own time too. Not to mention that my husband and I needed some time just to ourselves so we could “reconnect”. With a move coming up and living the past six months in limbo of not knowing exactly when we will be moving, our relationship has become a little strained. I’m the type of person who PLANS everything. So this state of “not knowing” has been killing me. But now we are back from our vacation and back to reality. So we continue to clean and touch up the house so it’s ready to go on the market when my husband gets his final job offer.

As I said in my bio—I’m a great lover of blogs, but this is actually my first proper blog post! I’ve done nothing more than comment on others so I would have to say it is time for me to “put it all out there” and let others have their say about mine! Why not just jump right in. I’m sure you guys will all be kind and gentle with a newbie like me. Right? Here goes:

We’ve had two additions to our household this afternoon. I’ve gone from two children to four children…in the blink of an eye! A friend of ours is in Mozambique with her hubby—and I, being the very *best* of people, offered to have her kids. So far, everything is going really smoothly! Did I mention it has only been 45 minutes? In those 45 minutes one of the children has 1. Declared himself BORED 2. Asked where all the toys are (I pointed in the direction of the playroom where you can’t see the floor for all the toys!) and 3. Tells me his mum let’s him eat chocolate spread on bread everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Should be a great week! Let’s get started.

My plan this week is to be organized. I’m sure organization is the secret to having more than 2 kids. I have every intention of getting their school lunches ready the night before, picking out the clothes for the morning ahead of time and having two simultaneous baths (luckily our house has two tubs!). For those of you reading this who already have more than two kids, you can stop laughing now. Where’s the love?! I realize I’m gonna have to learn along the way. Just hope the learning curve isn’t too steep…I don’t have that much time! Wish me luck.

You know, I would classify myself as a good Mom…maybe even a great mom. But a great mom to two kids. I’ve been asked, grilled and even begged by my family, friends and husband to have a third child. I think this little experiment might aid me in my decision. (But that is for another post!)

Cheersxx