What about being mentally focused? This is definitely something I struggle with. I lead such a busy life (as most people I know do…) that I find it difficult to stay on track. I’m constantly thinking about everything I need to get done at work, everything I need to do with and for Eva, all the things I want to do for myself, and worrying about money and time constraints. The list really could go on and on, but I won’t bore you with the nitty gritty.

When I lay down at night, my brain seems to kick into overdrive. I start thinking about how I need to find a better brand of diapers, because the ones we use now leak. I remember that I need to take my leased car to the dealership for a tune up. I realize that I forgot to call my grandmother back. I remember the fact that I have to give a presentation tomorrow and I haven’t prepared for it at all because I’ve been “focused” on other things. Then there’s the biggest question of all… If I myself can’t stay focused and keep my mind clear, how do I show/teach Eva?

Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don’t worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind. Thinking comes and goes, comes and goes, You must not be attached to the coming or the going.
—Zen Master Seung Sahn

So what’s my plan? Well I’m working on it. I know that I need to let go of the things I can’t change, and focus on the things that matter. I added the quote above because I really think that Zen Buddhism makes a lot of sense. Although I may never find Enlightenment, I would sure be happy to quiet my brain down a bit and get rid of some of the clutter. I’m reading a few books that are helping me (or should I say that I am using to help myself) to let go of the past, and not fret about the future. The moment is now. I might as well live it to the fullest.

This is really the only way that I can see myself being a good mom. If I myself can learn to live in the moment and be happy with life NOW as opposed to the way it was, or the way it could be… then I’m setting my daughter up to be one stable, happy woman.

How do you keep focused?

Playgroup - Kieran (10 months) is second from left

Some people don’t enjoy the baby stage. I even loved being pregnant—but I won’t go there cause I’m afraid of hate-mail. I’m lucky to love everything about babies including their smell, the cuddles and even the night-time feedings. It’s such a special time. I get broody when I see other babes. But I have also seen how much of my attention was used up by having four. It’s hard to spread yourself around and I don’t want to deprive my two boys of their mom time, not to mention time for the hubby too. So do I want more? I know I should be taking into consideration many factors like financially are we able? is it feasible with having to travel so much? Really, my decision will come from my heart. Many folks have told me “you’ll just know”. But it’s been five years since I was last pregnant and I still don’t know!

As I said in my bio—I’m a great lover of blogs, but this is actually my first proper blog post! I’ve done nothing more than comment on others so I would have to say it is time for me to “put it all out there” and let others have their say about mine! Why not just jump right in. I’m sure you guys will all be kind and gentle with a newbie like me. Right? Here goes:

We’ve had two additions to our household this afternoon. I’ve gone from two children to four children…in the blink of an eye! A friend of ours is in Mozambique with her hubby—and I, being the very *best* of people, offered to have her kids. So far, everything is going really smoothly! Did I mention it has only been 45 minutes? In those 45 minutes one of the children has 1. Declared himself BORED 2. Asked where all the toys are (I pointed in the direction of the playroom where you can’t see the floor for all the toys!) and 3. Tells me his mum let’s him eat chocolate spread on bread everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Should be a great week! Let’s get started.

My plan this week is to be organized. I’m sure organization is the secret to having more than 2 kids. I have every intention of getting their school lunches ready the night before, picking out the clothes for the morning ahead of time and having two simultaneous baths (luckily our house has two tubs!). For those of you reading this who already have more than two kids, you can stop laughing now. Where’s the love?! I realize I’m gonna have to learn along the way. Just hope the learning curve isn’t too steep…I don’t have that much time! Wish me luck.

You know, I would classify myself as a good Mom…maybe even a great mom. But a great mom to two kids. I’ve been asked, grilled and even begged by my family, friends and husband to have a third child. I think this little experiment might aid me in my decision. (But that is for another post!)

Cheersxx

Baby with remote

We come in all shapes and sizes, come from many different backgrounds, and take various life paths. But the one thing we will always have in common… is that we’re moms! And although our lives our busy and we don’t even live in the same cities (or continents for that matter!), technology keeps us together.

Technology simply is a way of life these days. For the most part, I’m quite thankful for it. First of all, I’m a software developer, so I make a living from technology. My blackberry is pretty much attached to my hip, and I can be reached via phone, email, IM, text, Twitter and Facebook all from the one device, at any time of the day! And when I was pregnant I got weekly updates on how my baby was growing/forming from babycenter.com. Since one of my best friends (Moyamuhle) currently lives in South Africa, and another (MotherT) is about to move to Washington D.C., I need to keep up-to-date with any and all forms of communication.

I have noticed though that we are definitely raising a little techie girl. When my daughter gets fussy and is in need of a distraction, the best form is usually a TV remote or cell phone. She also quite enjoys banging on the laptop as well. She absolutely loves buttons! She even called her father the other day, AND got him on speaker phone (mmm hmm 10 months old). Of course as soon as he answered she proceeded to taste the phone. Somehow she thinks cell phones and remotes are tasty… who knows? Maybe they taste like chicken! Ahh and my sweet little girl already has her own ipod, filled with various types of children’s music. I wonder… are we setting her up to be technologically advanced, or are we setting ourselves up to always have to buy her the newest gadgets? eek…